I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
