Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
