it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
