I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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