im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
