she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
my shit smells like andre
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
