After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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