you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
