Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
