I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
