Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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