In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
