I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
