awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
