U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
