We need to rekindle our bromance
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
