I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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