yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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