i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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