Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
