Nicole vs. Life
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
