I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
