i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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