Capitaan dildo arrescate!
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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