I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
