This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
