we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Never underestimate the power of titties
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
