This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
one might say we're banned from that church
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
