Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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