i jhust puked up my retainher.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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