I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
