forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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