sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
