I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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