Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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