You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
