Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
