I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
