Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
