I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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