he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
