I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
