You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
