and next time when you feel me up, do it right
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
