what day is it and did you see me today?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
