and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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