I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
