Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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