is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
