Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
