Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
