We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
