that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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