Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
